Women Lingo 101

I would love to disagree, but the following is hilariously true.

1. Fine
   This is the one word that women use to end an argument when they are right and you need only to shut up. Period.
   
2. 5 minutes
   If she is getting dressed, "5 minutes" means half an hour. "5 minutes" is only 5 minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing
   This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine". Refer back to No. 1 for the meaning of "Fine".
   
4. Go ahead
   This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
5. Loud Sigh
   This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means that she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. Refer back to No. 3 for the meaning of "Nothing".
   
6. That's Okay
   This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. This means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks
   A woman is thanking you. Do not question... ... or faint, just say, "You're welcome."
   Disclaimer: If she says, "Thanks alot", that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. Do not say "You're welcome"... ... that will bring on a "Whatever".
   
8. Whatever
   A woman's way of saying F**K YOU!
9. Don't Worry About It, I've Got It
   Another dangerous statement. This means this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?". Refer to No. 3 for the woman's response.