The Rules of Love #85

Extracted from the book, The Rules of Love.

Rule 85: There are no rules.

I've got this friend, a very dear friend indeed, but he has one trait that used to irritate me hugely: he's utterly unreliable. He turns up late or not at all, and then suddenly he'll arrive out of the blue with no warning. He says he's coming for a night and stops an hour, or says he's only got an hour and then stays a week. This suits his lifestyle perfectly - he lives in a camper van and travels at whim - but it doesn't always suit mine.

A few years back he did something or other, I forget what, that just wound me up. I wasn't in the mood that say to have him cancel at the last minute, or whatever it was. I started thinking that maybe it was time I just cut him out of my life. Not rudely, but just stopped making effort. I said as much to my wife. She responded by asking me what it was that I liked about him; why I'd chosen to have him as a close friend for so long. I replied that it was the fact that he was wild and free and lived in the moment. He represented all the things that I fantasized about being, but couldn't because they weren't compatible with a life of family and responsibility. I wanted the life I'd got, but that didn't stop me from dreaming about the alternative.

My wife then asked me how on earth I expected someone wild and free and always living in the moment to be conscientious about booking visits in advance and staying for the allotted time. I got cross with her for a bit, because it made me feel better, but of course she was right. I was irritated because he was getting with it and I couldn't. But deep down, I don't really want to live his life. I just like to imagine that I could.

Ever since then, I've found that when my friend behaves entirely in character and throws my arrangements out, I can smile and think to myself, 'Never predictable. That's what I love about him.'

The point is that your friends are who they are - you have to take 'em or leave 'em as they come. You can't ask them to change. What would be the point in that? If you love them, stay friends and put up with their foibles. As with my friend, their faults are probably the flipside of what you love them for. In any case, they come as a package. You wouldn't thank your friends for asking you to change.

Goodness knows the world is full enough of people to choose from. If this friend really does nothing for you, quietly withdraw from the friendship. But there are no Rules that say friends have to do this or that, have to behave in certain ways, are expected to fulfil particular conditions. So don't ever catch yourself thinking your friends ought to do this or that. The only thing they ought to do is to be themselves, and then you can choose whether that's someone you want as a friend.

YOUR FRIENDS ARE WHO THEY ARE - YOU HAVE TO TAKE 'EM OR LEAVE 'EM.

Roger & Sheila

After a long day in heels, I seriously do not wish to stand idly at the bus stop for 20 minutes. So this justifies cabbing home from the MRT.

No queue.
Boarded a cab.
The cabby uncle's voice sounded familiar.

Me: Uncle, I think I've taken your cab before.

Cabby Uncle: Really? Uncle old man already, I'm already 71 years old. Sorry, uncle cannot remember you.

Me: It's ok, uncle. I remembered you have a wife, right?

Cabby Uncle: Everyone has an old lady, right?

Me, feeling silly, laughs: True, but you've got a lovely wife. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow, so is the old man buying flowers for the old lady?

Cabby Uncle, grins: Of course. She is unique. One and only one. She loves flowers and chocolates.

Me: Roses are expensive on Valentine's Day.

Cabby Uncle: But old lady like ma... I'll get her carnations.

Me: Aren't carnations meant for mommies?

Cabbly Uncle, laughs: It is the thought that counts. I do buy her flowers now and then, need not only be on Valentine's Day, you know?

Me: Awww... So are you bringing old lady to anywhere tomorrow?

Cabby Uncle: No la, old lady cannot walk. Doctor says she's got acute arthritis.

Me: Ok, it's all right, she has got old man to look out for her. I'm sure you'll take good care of her.

Reached my house.

Uncle: Wait for your change.

Me, smiles: It's ok, uncle. I'll contribute to your chocolates and flowers fund.

Cabby Uncle: Oh... thank you so much. I'll tell Sheila that I've met an angel tonight. God bless you.

Chocolate

English: Chocolate [ˈchä-k(ə-)lət, ˈchȯ-]
Japanese: チョコレート [chokorēto]

Function: Noun. Happy food.

Originally invented by man as a cure for PMS.
It worked.
However, the effects quickly dissipated.

What does a woman really wants?

A very interesting forward that I've received.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, if he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer. If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden. But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?'

She said, 'Is to be in charge of her own life.'

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was.

The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.

But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen stand before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

'Which would you prefer?’ She asked him.

'Beautiful during the day… … or at night?'

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends. But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?

What did Lancelot chose?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, replied that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, the witch announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

The moral of the story is

1. There is a witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is! (I disagree!)
2. If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:
It’s either ‘HER WAY’ or it’s ‘NO WAY’!

Sweet Creep

It is really a pleasant surprise.
Aww... a mail from my Twitter friend! Not a tweet, but a snail-mail!


Twitter friend: Which do you think you are, the monster or the little kid?
Me, without hesitation: Of cos I'm the cute baby!
Twitter friend and me: Haha...

The monster actually reminds me of No Face from Miyazaki's Spirited Away - a demure, simple-minded creature who is easily moved by his emotions and those of others. I think I'm actually the crafty baby who whines to get the ice-cream. It's cute.

Really appreciate this Sweet Creep that arrives in snail-mail in this Internet times. Smiles.

What people are willing to do for a little green

Everyone can really do with a little more cash and fun.
Get both... why not?

Get your own - Open publication

Nauseating fun. Eat the mayo out of the pits.
Messy fun. Party in the pants. (extra spicy?)
Loopy fun. Superglue your toes together.
Sporty fun. Banana hammock in the park.

The Orange Idle Status

Blocked! My office has blocked Google Talk! I cannot believe it.
My office has blocked virtually all web IMs and GTalk is the one and only sole survivor. We reasoned that perhaps some important people in the office are on GTalk. Apparently, this was a flawed assumption.

Day 1 of Google Talk Withdrawal Syndrome

The inconvenience is annoying. I actually find dialing for my colleagues a chore. Yes, it feels like a C-H-O-R-E. I'm so used to dialing for my colleagues only when their status is a GREEN Available. I know I will be greeted with a "Hello" and I could have a discussion with him/her. There is certainty.

But, on this very first day without GTalk, it is like attending school for the very first day and learning the alphabets all over again. I relearn that someone is probably busy or away from his/her desk if it I still do not get a "Hello" by the tenth ring. It would seem that I have wasted some time trying to dial for him/her, cranking my neck and trying to balance the phone between my ear and shoulder.

It does not help matters when our desk phones do not have IDD caller that show any missed call. I realized it must have been one of those days that I hear the most number of the "ring ring" tone. (Disregarding those days when I was a tele-marketer.)

Day 2 of Google Talk Withdrawal Syndrome

I surprise myself that I feel less annoyed. I'm starting to feel more comfortable with using the primitive telephony to "spy" on my colleagues' whereabouts.

Besides the primitive telephony, I'm beginning to appreciate the non-instant messenger, emails. They are less intrusive. For IM, I have this sense of urgency to reply instantaneously. Thus, I always do so in short phrases. For emails, I could take some time to think and reply in full complete sentences. There is probably more thought process involved for emails. I'll think twice if I've missed out anything before hitting the send button. I'm wondering how many more days it'll take, before my emails will get shorter and shorter and shorter... Hmmmm.